


Monster

by ESawyer



Series: Beautiful Lie; Painful Truth [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: But actually very happy, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), kind of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 18:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17813162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESawyer/pseuds/ESawyer
Summary: I've actually already uploaded this as part of something else but I thought I'd upload it on its own because I have nothing better to do and am putting off doing actual work, whoops.Thanks for reading!-E





	Monster

 

_"A monster that refused, sometimes, to behave like a monster._

_When a monster stopped behaving like a monster, did it stop being a monster_ _?_

_Did it become something else?"_

_-Kristin Cashore, Graceling_

_\---_

 

“You’re telling me that there's a _monster_ after our son?” Hope Lupin snapped, “I told you that going after Greyback was-”

“He killed two children, Hope!” Lyall replied, “How could I just sit back and-”

“How could you sit back? What do you mean how could just sit back? You could just sit back because you know that Greyback specifically goes after kids, and now it’ll be _our_ kid!”

Remus Lupin cowered in the dimly lit hallway outside of his parents bedroom, clinging onto a picture he had just drew. He had been very excited to show his parents what he had drawn, but now that excitement had sputtered out like a candle flame. There was a monster after him? He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to take in what had just been said...a monster called Greyback had killed two children and he was next!

Hugging the picture closer to his chest, he huddled closer to the door and stared through the crack in the door. His dad was pacing up and down at his mum was stood on the other side of the room, her hands on her hips. She looked completely different to how she usually looked; her face was set in a fierce glare and her warm eyes narrowed. Remus did not at all like the way that she looked and his bottom lip began to tremble.

“Hope, I promise that nothing will happen to him! I won't let that happen! The Ministry won't let that happen!”

“But say that it does,” Hope said, “say that we can’t protect him and he turns...what then, eh? The ministry turn their back on him, Hogwarts turn their back on him, _everyone_ turns their back on him!”

“Hope-”

“No, Lyall, you know it's true!” she yelled, “The Ministry are very supportive now but you and I othe know that that support stops the moment they decide he's a ‘Monster,’”

“Children - Children don't often survive attacks,” Lyall said heavily.

“And that would be better, would it?”

“I would rather see you son dead than-”

“Don't. Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence!”

“They don't have lives like you and me,” Lyall said, “They can't live like us. You know they can't live like us. It's-”

“But if it were to happen to Remus, you would work to change those laws, wouldn't you?”

This question was met with silence and Remus felt tears begin to roll down his cheeks. He did not fully understand what his parents were talking about, but he understood enough to know that his own dad would rather see him dead. He looked down at the drawing in his hands, his heart sinking. It was of him, his mum and his dad. As he began to cry, the picture burst into flames in his hands.

“What was that?” came Hopes panicked voice.

Remus heard the sounds of his father's footsteps heading towards the door and Remus quickly scurried back down the hall and dove into his bed, burrowing under his covers. His entire body was shaking and he was gripped with the fear that his dad would leave him to be eaten by the big scary monster called Greyback.

He heard his bedroom door open but he did not look up, pretending to be asleep. Even if he really wanted to, he could not sleep because what if that was what Greyback was waiting for?

\---

Six year old Remus Lupin sat on the back doorstep of his house, looking out into the garden. This was as much freedom as he was given, especially on the nights when the moon was shining the brightest. He had not forgotten the argument that he had overheard between his mum and dad, and his nights were often plagued with nightmares of a shapeless monster hunting him down.

A rustling in the bushes caught his attention. Remus’ head snapped up and he felt himself inching backwards towards the house, but then he remembered that their cat had been missing for weeks, and this rustling could easily be her. In fact, Remus thought as he slid off the step and all but skipped over bushes, this was definitely the cat. She often got caught in the thick bushes.

Excitedly, Remus pushed the thick brambles back. Just as he heard his mother's panicked yell, he locked eyes with the Monster and barely had time to scream before it launched himself at him.

\---

“What hurts, love?” Hope asked quietly.

“Everything,” Remus croaked back, he was nine years old and after three years, he had still not gotten used to the days after his transformations. He wasn't sure that he ever would.

“I’ll get you some more potion,” Lyall said, hurrying out of the room.

Remus did not have the energy to shout his dad back and tell him that the potions never helped with pain relief. Even if he did tell his parents, they would probably have him take it anyway, just in case.

“Do you need anything asked?” Lyall asked when he got back, holding a frothing potion.

“Tell me more about Hogwarts,” Remus rasped.

He knew that he would never be able to go, but it was a nice dream to have.

Lyall smiled at him and cleared his throat.

“It's the most amazing place in the world. In your first year, you get to the castle by the boats, and I’ll ever forget the first view I got off the castle. The stars reflected off the Black Lake and the castle stood tall above it all, and it's turrets looked as though they were reaching for the moon.

“And the Great Hall is quite something. The ceiling is bewitched to look like the sky, and although that's not always appreciated during a thunderstorm, no feeling compares to walking into the Great Hall on a bright summer's day when the sun is shining down on you, and you can feel the warmth radiate through the room.

“But do you know what I miss about it the most?”” Lyall asked, almost whispering.

“What?” Remus asked as eagerly as he could.

“I miss what it was like to walk down the corridors with my best friends, laughing about something that no one else would find funny. I miss having to duck under jinxes that flew over our heads with no warning. I miss seeing a perfect struggle to control their group of friends because his badge depended on it. I miss the fascinatingly bizarre conversation you could have with the ghosts and the portraits and the exhilaration of just getting back to your common room without getting caught for being out of bounds...”

Lyall’s voice began to get more and more distant as Remus drifted off to sleep, feeling homesick for a place that he had never been to.

\---

“Professor, it's lovely of you to consider him but I just don't think it's possible,” Hope said quietly, “I don't think he would be able to keep it a secret,”

“Nonsense!” Dumbledore chortled, “he would be a fine addition to Hogwarts!”

Remus sat cross legged by the fire, looking up at Professor Dumbledore with some interest. He really was as strange as his father had always described him to be. He was even stranger considering he wanted to enroll Remus at Hogwarts.

“I don’t think it would be safe. For anyone,” Lyall said carefully, “and the recovery process after a transformation can be quite long. He would miss out on so many lessons...”

“And if he did not attend the school at all, he would miss all of them,” Dumbledore replied, “Could I, perhaps, speak to Remus on his own?”

Once they were alone, Remus felt himself retreat into his shell. Dumbledore seemed completely unaware of how shy Remus was and was humming whilst staring into the fire.

Finally, Dumbledore broke the silence.

“Would you like to attend Hogwarts, Remus?”

Remus nodded mutely.

“Why is that?”

“I've heard my dad talk about it...about the grounds and the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall and...” He trailed off, “but it doesn't matter, because I can’t go,”

“Why do you think that?”

Remus looked up at Dumbledore, “because I'm a monster,”

“A monster?” Dumbledore asked incredulously, “why, I don't think you're a monster! I think you’re a fine young man who will be a wonderful student once the first day of September rolls around!”

Remus shook his head, “No! I can't go! I'm a - I'm a - I'm a monstrosity!”

“The only monstrosity would be you not attending school, Remus!”

“You really think I could go?”

Dumbledore odder his head, “I don’t see any reason why you should not. Your parents tell me how bright you are and I think that one day, you will be a terrific wizard,”

\---

Remus laughed loudly as James and Sirius quite dramatically re-enacted what Pete had looked like the first time he had successfully transfigured into Wormtail. Pete shook his head and put his head in his hands, muttering about how disconcerting it was to suddenly become a rat, and that James had cried for almost an hour when he couldn't get rid of his antlers after transforming for the first time. Sirius then began to perform his quite impressive impression of James mid panic attack.

“‘I’m going to have antlers for the rest of my life!’” he mock sobbed, falling about the place dramatically, “‘Lily's never going to fall in love with me now, Sirius! What am I going to do?’”

“I just think it's cute that you ever thought she would fall in love with you,” Remus sniggered just as Lily walked past with Marlene and Dorcas.

“If it wasn't so close to your time of the month, I’d hex you,” James said grumpily.

“Yes, the fact that you can't hex me is the biggest problem that comes with my time of the month,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, I wasn't aware that there was any other problem with it?”

“You two are so ignorant!” Peter exclaimed, “the other problem is that I can't copy his homework when he's passed out and hasn't done it either!”

“Obviously,” James said solemnly, “that is the worst problem about your time of the month. I don't know how we get through it,”

“I hate every single one of you with a burning intensity,” Remus said bluntly.

“And we love you dearly, Moony,” Sirius grinned, “Did I tell you what Snivellus said the other day when - watch out!” Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm and yanked him down just as a curse brushed through their hair.

They looked up just in time to see it hit an unsuspecting Ravenclaw in the face. For a moment, nothing happened and James sighed disappointedly, but then the Ravenclaws eyebrows began to grow in every direction until his face was covered entirely. Pete clapped his hand over his mouth as he burst into laughter and Sirius clung onto Remus’ shoulder, doubled over in laughter. James had collapsed against the wall and was clutching onto his stomach in silent laughter, tears streaming down his face.

“Go on then, Mr Prefect,” Sirius said, prodding his badge, “No magic in the corridors between classes,”  
“Technically we’re not between classes because it's the end of the day,” Remus said as they walked by the furious Ravenclaw whose friends were too busy laughing to help him, “besides, I couldn't take points off someone for a really good bit of magic, could I? That's basically the opposite of what the house points are there for,”

“It's a miracle Dumbledore hasn't taken that badge off you,” Pete said.

“If he takes it off me, who's going to control you lot?” Remus asked.

“You say that as though you control us now,” James said.

“Shut up, Prongs,” Remus sighed.

Sirius suddenly gasped, “That's your nickname! Prongs! You’re prongs for the rest of your life now!”

James turned to Remus his eyes wide, “Look at what you've done now, you absolute Monster!”

Remus was too busy laughing to let that word bother him. He couldn't even remember the last time that word had bothered him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually already uploaded this as part of something else but I thought I'd upload it on its own because I have nothing better to do and am putting off doing actual work, whoops. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -E


End file.
